Anxiety Fear Challenge Week 1: Dyeing my hair Turquoise!!!

Yesterday I got the courage to try something I've been wanting to do for years. I ran to Sally's Beauty supplies and purchased everything to dye my hair turquoise! The craziest color I've ever done to my hair, was a combination of red/yellow(not blonde...yellow)/black. High school days. I was willing to do three colors, but not the one I really wanted. I don't understand myself sometimes. 

Now I am FAR a hair stylist and to be completely honest, I highly recommend that if you want to dye your hair, go to a professional. For me I'd rather have really odd hair than spend the money on a professional. I know, I'm a frugal weirdo. 

When I went to Sally's I was a light ashy brunette with natural blondish highlights (I took a picture of my before color. I almost forgot and took it during the bleaching process so it looks a little strange, but the picture shows my natural color accurately), so I purchased "Blue Flash" powder lightener, 30 Volume developer, 2 cans of "Manic Panic" in "Atomic Turquoise", a nourishing masque, a pair of gloves, and a brush. All picked out by the Sally's rep. I feel like I should've just done some more research and gone my OWN route, as the amount I purchased was WAAAY to much and a bit pricey. 2 cans of Manic Panic was the perfect amount for me though and I have thin hair almost to my butt. I didn't care at this point and threw caution to the wind. Afterwards I rushed home to start the process of turning into a walking mermaid. 

I chose Manic Panic particularly because it's semi-permanent and the color was exactly the one I wanted. The one thing that I didn't do though, was purchase a toner. Why you ask? I specifically told the gentleman at the store that when I bleach my hair, it turns 3-4 shades of yellow/orange. He told me that Manic Panic would cover it all evenly regardless. I was skeptical, but again, if I wasn't willing to pay a professional I was just going to have to suck it up and suffer the consequences. I will tell you all now, this is not a "how to". This is a "how NOT to".

First thing I did was prep. I took out every towel and rug from my bathroom, along with anything I didn't want to be stained with bleach or turquoise. I opened up every single window in my house just in case. I made my son a lunch and had him do his ABC mouse lessons in the living room, the farthest room from the bathroom. I threw on a shirt and pair of shorts that could be dyed, grabbed two old towels, a plastic bag, everything I purchased earlier, and picked out a bowl that I wouldn't mind being ruined. 

After I was completely set up and ready to go, I proceeded to bleach my hair. Pour the powder into the bowl, slowly add developer, and put gloves on. Sections separated, bleach applied to each strand 2" from scalp, then applied to roots when everything else was dyed. I put the plastic bag and waited 45 minutes. My hair seemed pretty blonde. So I washed it out with cold water and shampoo. I made sure to completely cleanse my hair, as to not have any residue left over. Afterwards I blow-dried my hair and brushed it out. I looked like Mufasa who had a tye-dyed yellow/gold/orange mane. I was a little skeptical about the Manic Panic sticking evenly, but I was too anxious. I called to ask if I should re-bleach (I wasn't exactly wanting to do a round two if I didn't have to, because of damage.) I was told to just go ahead and apply it and it should be fine. WRONG! 

Note to self: Go to a professional hairstylist and either ask them or just spend the money. 

I poured my Manic Panic into the cleaned bowl and did the same steps as the bleaching process. Only difference was to wait 30 minutes to an hour. So I did 45 minutes with a new plastic bag on my head. Once the timer was up, my entire head looked like a Smurf has bled all over my head. I will admit I was a little concerned at this point, because it was FAR from the color I wanted, but I kept going. No turning back now. 

I ran my hair under the cold water continuously and shampooed over and over until the water ran clear, per the directions I was told. I ended up just rinsing until the water was slightly tinted blue, because I was exhausted and didn't want to keep washing my hair. So I grabbed and old white towel and began to dry. None of the color transferred to the towel, so I figured I'm done. I blow dried my hair once again and brushed out the Mufasa mane, except this time I looked like a mermaid with 4 colors. Bright turquoise, light green, dark green, and sea green. Mixed pieces all over and completely random. 

At first I was a little bummed that it didn't turn out one color, but I had my doubts from the beginning about it really evening out the previous multi-colored, bleached hair. All in all though, I ended up loving it. I think it's pretty neat that it's not one color and looks different. I had a ton of compliments and friends say that it looks extremely cool. I couldn't be happier. 

How would I rate my entire "at home salon" experience? Let me break it down for you...

Pros: It was easier than I imagined. The turquoise dye came right off of my skin with no problem, so I didn't look like an alien. My hair came out pretty soft after the Manic Panic. It didn't damage my hair or stain ANYTHING. I have mermaid hair. 

Cons: It didn't come out one color. I couldn't use warm/hot water as it burned my head, so the shower was FREEZING. The Sally's consultant convinced me to purchase WAY to much product (bleach/developer). 

Final result? 10/10!!!! I feel like a freaking mermaid! Who doesn't love the ocean princesses?! Yeah it didn't turn out perfect, but I don't think I would've been as happy as I am now, had it turned me all one color. Plus now I know that if I ever want to turn my head one color, I NEED toner. 

I'll probably end up bleaching the roots and dying them for touch ups for a while. Who knows, maybe I'll decide to change it up again. I still recommend that if you want to go a crazy bold color, you consult a professional or have them do it. It can be a little messy, tiresome, and you may not be as happy as I am. Results tend to sway from person to person, so my mistake may not work for you. While I'm a little frustrated that the Sally's worker wasn't quite as knowledgeable as I'd hoped he'd be, I understand that we can't all be high end cosmetologist. For a spur of the moment decision, I think it ended up looking pretty cool. At least to me and I'm the one who has to walk around with it, so my opinion in this sense is the only one that matters. 

I feel like we all just get so stuck in our ways, because of fear, expectations, or possible negativity. At least that's how it was for me. I was afraid to do this color for numerous reasons, but I have on a personal mission. To do at least ONE thing that I'm afraid of every single week. I have a massive amount of anxiety and my depression is a monster I despise, but I refuse to walk through life in a mental prison. Some things work better for others and some things make matters worse. I've tried a few things and while my normal outlets (drawing, music, etc) are still working for me, I want to go through life living how I imagine without holding back just because my mind likes to play games. My ultimate goal is to do one fear challenge every week to post on Wednesday for the rest of the year, but seeing as how just thinking about it gives me anxiety, I'm going to be taking it one week at a time. Let's see how this goes...

What's your craziest hair style? What's a big anxiety of yours? Any suggestions?

UPDATE!!! 4/25/2016: I absolutely had to tell you guys this amazing trick I learned! So I wanted to do a re-dye as my hair color was already fading. I was washing it too much with too hot of water. By the way, don't do that. 

So I went ahead and used the remaining Manic Panic that I had - about half the container - to touch up everything except my roots. They were still pretty turquoise. I ended up being able to lightly cover up everything, INCLUDING my roots. I was just going to repeat the same steps, but then I had an idea. How long could I keep my dye in? Would it affect it? Would it affect me?

I found this website (HERE) where it recommended that not only should I try to leave it on for 6 hours (really it recommended for me to do it as long as I could), but it also mentioned using vinegar to immediately rinse my hair after I was done letting it soak in. I'm not a huge fan of the smell, but if it will make my color more vibrant and last, I'm in.

I ended up keeping the color on my hair under a plastic bag for 6 hours!When I was ready I grabbed a bowl, poured in any white vinegar I had left, added an equal amount of COLD water, and BOOM! I leaned over the tub, dumped my hair into the bowl (it was a rather big mixing bowl I got from the Dollar Tree). A little bit of color came out, but I will say that it seemed as if a ton LESS color was being washed away. After soaking my hair and really working the vinegar mix in, I went ahead and rinsed my hair with freezing cold water from the bathtub faucet. Again, WAY less color was running down my drain. The smile I had was enormous!!! 

I decided to skip shampoo and conditioner, as the water began running clear. I proceed to towel dry my hair and after an hour, my hair was done and the color was easily seen. The vibrancy and radiance was unbelievable. I couldn't believe what a difference it made. 

I don't know if it's that I did the dye job twice, the vinegar, the freezing cold water, or all of it, but I couldn't be happier. Now, I wash every 3 days, but NOT while I'm showering. I wash my hair under the faucet with freezing cold water on the 3rd day with conditioner only. No shampoo for me. My hair is soft, smooth, bright, and has my heart. LIVE ON MERMAID HAIR!!!

P.S. I'll probably buy another container of Manic Panic in Atomic Turquoise to do touch ups. I love it too much to let it go and I have to admit, I've found a new sense of confidence. I defiantly get stares, comments, and have even gotten an "Ew" from a passing by mom, but I've realized that I shouldn't let those people deter me from my happiness. At the end of the day, it's not them that make my heart sing or a smile overcome my face. It's me and my son, and we love it.